Music as my thesis

Music

When mankind started off their existence all those years ago in prehistoric times, music was present. Since then music has evolved with humanity's evolution and has become something that is ingrained in our conscience as part of who we are as a people. Each society and culture has claim to a unique type of music that they call their own and often times individuals in those societies lay claim to certain variations of it. Since I was a child I have had music as a source of acceptance, of discovery and as a constant avenue to enrich my life by making my own music which in ways I cannot fully describe has become a part of who I am. 

Growing up I was influenced heavily by my two older brothers and their taste in music, which consisted of Rock and Roll, Jazz, Blues and other forms of music that I would describe as pop culture music. There was one particular band, Pearl Jam who I only started listening to “be cool” in front of my brothers and gain acceptance with them changed the way I viewed music. Music stopped being background noise as I was playing games or studying but became a more interactive source of stories. The lyrics behind the music as it were, forced me to travel to places and situations that I as a 11 year old could barely understand. This was around the time I had just started getting engrossed in epic fantasy novels where I felt I was physically in places like middle earth with Gandalf and the gang, and music became another avenue for me to enjoy these “travels”.

 From there as the years went by I started listening to more and more types of music and discovered the essence of different cultures, different races and different peoples. As with most teenage boys of the early 2000's I got hooked to rap music for a decent amount of my life. I remember a song by 2Pac called “Words of wisdom” that made me realize just how much songs reflect realities for different people; “Made to feel inferior, but we're superior, break the chains in our brains that made us fear you, pledge allegiance to a flag that neglects us, honor a man that refuses to respect us, Emancipation, proclamation, Please! Lincoln just said that to save the nation.” It would be years yet until I truly understood the meaning of these words but I had already started accepting music as a defining thing of people and this translated later on in my life to be held true to myself.

 I got my first guitar when I was 15 years old, it was not until I was 16 that I had actually started to play it. My whole family, from my brothers to my sister all received formal training in music but for some unexplained reason (god knows how much I nagged about this to my parents) I was never given any music lessons. In retrospect I think this particular fact helped me learn music in a more self defining way. My friends all played guitar at various levels of expertise and they would all come to my house and we would fiddle around and teach other different things and before long we started making our own music. It was always love songs at the beginning that we would sing at opportune occasions to get girls, but that wasn't our primary focus, the truth is we did not have any reason to play and make our own music, we just did and over time we got quiet good at it. We called ourselves the “Hanging Monkeys” and at sixteen we started playing small gigs, mostly weddings and social gatherings: circumcision parties.

 I wrote my first song about a girl I saw at the doctors place, a girl who I did not have the courage to go up and say hello to. The song was simple and told the story of what would have happened if I had gone and said hi, though it was a little elaborate and honestly a little perverted; the title of the song was “Pervert Song”. I have written so many songs, some of which I don't even remember anymore, but each song had a meaning and story behind it and I was able to embody some of the things I was singing about. Four years after I wrote the “Pervert Song” I saw the girl from the doctors place, and this time I went up to her and said hello. Having written that song, it gave me courage to ignore the fear of rejection and I accepted that whatever happens happens and even if I do get rejected my inner mind knew it just meant I could write a cool new song about being rejected. Music at this point had become a way I got acceptance, and the way in which I started not only discovering other people but myself as well.

 Life has been moments of up and down for me, and music has been there to guide me through everything. It has allowed me to accept difficult realities and made me the person I think I am today.

A Letter For the Future me

Dear future self,

 I hope you are reading this in good health. It has been over twenty years since I first started off with these word, and the date should be the 6th of June 2033. I also hope the question I had in mind at the beginning still burns within your heart. Are you being the good and noble person you know you have the power to be. Or has life and the seemingly endless consequences made you into someone who sacrifices to the little evils of your every day life.

 I would like you to take a moment, and think back to the last moment in your life you closed your eyes, smiled and acknowledged how wonderful and beautiful life is, how happy and content you are. If that moment seems like a small lifetime ago, then think of the secret that only you or rather I would know on how to go to the special place in your mind, the place where it is possible to find the little happiness's that you need to recognize in order for you to come to a point of contentedness.

 I am a little surprised time traveling has not been introduced so do me a random favor and on the 11th of December 2013 at exactly 13.20 pm send an email to the retrieving email only you will know. On a more serious note, I hope you have achieved at least some of the grandiose schemes and dreams and goals you currently right now in 2013 tell yourself you will fight to achieve. I hope this because in twenty years, even if a sliver of my dreams have come true or are about to be coming true then I know that all the work I put into it from now till then will be worth it. And with this letter I keep a little hope and trust in us, both to be the person we want to be and the person we are, also the crazy hope I will actually keep myself from reading this letter until these twenty years go by.

 Thank You

With moist Love,
 Naufal Amjad

 P.S. Write a song about this, I have a feeling you are telling yourself you are at a writers block and you have not made any music in too long, just do it, its not supposed to be good just fun and lovely experience for you and maybe just maybe one more person.

Fragmented Self

I am a seedling
 Seasons pass me by, I am
Here until my time

I seek the hidden
 music, truth, and a belief
 a picture blurred

 A breeze flowing
 A tale of the self and me
 A story, no end

 Who am I kidding
 I am anything I am
 Yet to reach true life

 Look around and find
 the scattered parts of me
 or maybe the heart